Athletics Day

Learning Itention:

To write about a meaningful event to me.

*4 sentences

*4 sentence startes

 *No banned words

Athletics Day

High jump.

"Ready when you are" Mrs Stark told me I started scurrying and then leap, over I go, could I do it, could I? Just as I landed on the spongy blue mat my foot knocked the pole!!Oh No but Mrs Stark told me to go again and that time I hurtled myself over. After about three rounds the chairs were taken for 1st 2nd and 3rd, I had come fourth I'm so so so proud of my self (I had a huge smile on my face.)

Emma: Next time you should use some more punctuation and exiting words. 

I like the way you used the way scurrying instead of running and "I landed on the spongy blue mat". GREAT JOD:)

Aylah: Next time you could add a bit about what high jump is because some people may not know what it is. I like how you put scurrying and I like how you put how you were feeling.

good job Isabel

Courtney: I liked the way you used punctuation. Next time you should re read it.

I like the way you hooked the reader in.