Goal 2: I am aware of how to write for an audience and support the main idea with detail and comment.
Dinosaurs!
I turned around and screamed a colossal Triceratop with three huge horns, it was behind all that time as I was picking berries! Its fiery hot breath was almost burning my head off, his red gem eyes was starring evilly it my terrified face. The dinosaurs body was covered was greenish scales, the thing I was mostly scared about was the triangular spikes down its spine all the way to the end of its very long tail, (it looked although it got stretched when it got caught in a tree.) Ha Ha Ha!
Great idea to include what you were doing when you noticed the dinosaur. I really like how your beginning links to your ending - you were picking berries and then at the end you gave him some berries - well done. I know it's not your goal, but I'd like you to re-read this carefully because there's errors that I think you are easily able to fix. Look carefully at your punctuation and read your first sentence carefully. It's important to proof read your work before you publish.
ReplyDeleteBy the way - I love your face in the photo - you look terrified!
Whoa you looks so terrified look at you and Porsche and it so funny that you face was wide open
ReplyDeleteBy Mackenzie
I like your story Isabel you have lots of cool words and you have lots of sentences.
ReplyDeleteYou used lots of interesting words, you did well to hook the reader in. You put in lots of descriptive words.
ReplyDelete