Dragons
Once upon a time there lived a queen, the queen's name was Holly. The five princesses were Isabel, Emma, Bry, Pascoe and Heidi. They lived in a massive castle, there were sixty servants to keep it clean and in tip top shape. The castle was in a deep green forest. outside the castle gates there was a marble courtyard.
One day the royal family set of for a walk (in the forest.) They knew the whole forest even where the wicked queen lived, her name was Mary The Evil. As they were strolling through the woods, they stumbled upon the Mary's evil castle. The royal family ran for their lives, but it was too late evil Mary had caught them! Mary's terrifying guards tied them up with ropes and strings. Holly, Isabel, Emma, Bry, Pascoe and Heidi twisted, turned and struggled to get out of the ropes and strings.
They were taken to a dungeon deep in the ground and were chained to the dungeon walls. Suddenly they heard a very loud ROAR coming from the other dungeon! They roar got louder the closer the dragon came, (they did not know it was a dragon.) The walls blasted down as six dragons came through. The royal family started to name and chose their dragon. Here's the dragon's name, color and who it belongs to
Holly's dragon is red and its name is 'Fire.' Isabel's dragon is orange and its name is 'Flame.' Emma's dragon is yellow and its name is 'Sunny.' Bry's dragon is green and its name is 'Emerald.' Pascoe's dragon is blue and its name is 'Sky,' and Heidi's dragon is purple and its name is 'Violet.'
The royal family flew back home, (after they had escaped) they decided that the dragons can live in a different castle a little further into the forest. For the rest of the week the dragons could be able to go out in the forest to get some things to put in their room in the castle (the dragon castle.) Two months later the royal family woke up bright and early on a sunny Monday to see if the dragons are okay. To their surprise the dragons have had babies!
A year passed... Two years passed, until one day Pascoe and Bry were going outside to have a walk. When as soon as they opened the door, they saw a female and male of every type of animals, with at least one baby of their kind beside them. So Holly said to the builders to make the same castle as the dragon's but on the other side (again a little further into the forest.) The animals were let every day of the week, but only for one week to get things for their room in the castle.
And they lived happily ever after, Except for the evil Mary who got locked up and chained to the dungeon walls of her castle, because of the guards. They did not like her bossing them around.My goal is to support the main idea with detail and comment, and I am aware of how to write for an audience.
Wow! Isabel you are trying so hard with your writing and I can tell you are enjoying it. I really like how you are trying to work on your goal with each piece of writing you do. You certainly know how to write for an audience now - the bits in brackets show me you are aware of your reader. You are getting much better at adding detail to support your ideas. Perhaps including some feelings or senses would give the reader even more idea about what your characters are thinking and feeling. Well done for doing this in your own time - you really are in charge of your own learning!
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